One day I will have this on my body. 

21 DAYS UNTIL UGANDA.

I'm in a feverish mess of excitedness/ don't know quite what to do with myself! I came back home from uni a few days ago and I just feel like I'm in some weird inbetween limbo land right now. I just wanna get on my plane and go! Final preparations are being made and plans are almost being completed, I just need to get there!

I'm going to start writing a separate blog for my travels, as I am also going to France with summer and Prague later on in the year (how lucky am I?!). Also, a facebook group has been made for those of us going to Uganda through the IVHQ program so I think I've met a few people who may be there are the same time as me. Exciting stuff!

I was also emailed a list of things which I could bring for the children such as vests, bras, toys, fishing line etc. so I'm going to try and raise some extra funds to do that! Going to make some lush cakes and leave them out at work to temps people to donate lots of moneeeeys.

Just can't wait! x

got the rainy day blueeeees.

despite Britain being in a 'drought' it has pretty much rained non stop for the past 10 days. Today is no different and its all grey and miz outside and I was planning on going for a procrastination walk and everything. Why is the weather so stupid?

Made myself some muselli today, actually tastes lush. Put mixed dried fruit in, banana, pumpkin seeds and greek yoghurt with some honey. Super noms! Topped it off with some green tea and morning reading.

Feeling fressshhh and slowly plucking up the courage to leave my warm and dry room. Need to go to the Barber Gallery today to take so photos of the exhibitions for my exam. Had a peep up there yesterday and we have a new painting! Rene Magritte's 'The Flavour of Tears' 1948. So excited I love his work!

Actually leaving now, need to check to make sure my car doesn't have a fat parking fine on it and collect my coke.

Wish me luck! x

plansplansplans.

Been planning my Ugandan adventure. Looked at flights to Uganda, then to Kenya and back to England. £736! Wasn't so happy about that but I was up for it, but my friend who I was travelling said its too much, so she can't come. I'm just going to Uganda now, but flights are still pretty expensive. I called up Flight Centre today to get the cheapest deal, they are so good and I really trust them. I'm paying for it at the end of the week! My mother is having a mild breakdown over it, she thinks I'm going to be kidnapped by the LRA (fingers crossed I actually don't) and Idi Armin is going to raise from the dead to get me.

I can totally understand her worries, from the 60's- 80's the country was a no go area in the middle of a civil war, I suppose it would be like if my children wanted to go to Afghanistan in 20 years time for me. But still, the country is moving on now and needs tourism to help it thrive. Many websites and lonely planet books say that in a few years it will be a tourist hot spot, and people who have gone have said it was fantastic! How good is it to go now when its still relatively unknown and to be able to experience a place like that. Obviously with any travelling there is an element of risk, you just have to be aware all of the time and not take any stupid, unnecessary risks.

Aaaanyway, looked at prices for safari and white water rafting on the Nile and I think I'm gunna do it! Will book and pay for it when I'm there, I have 12 days at the end to mooch around so I need to be really thrifty with my money so I don't run out!

Really tired now, going to go see Will for a cig and then go off to bed. I will not let him persuade me to go out!

Byeeeee x

Also made myself a super healthy dinner today. Need to shift my easter belly!

Made from whole wheat pasta, mushrooms, tomatoes, broccoli, garlic, mixed fish and an egg with some light phiilli. And a cheeky glass of red wine joking its grape juice HA. 

Yummmmmmmscrum! 

X

It's exam season

which is obviously just a fantastic excuse to buy new multi coloured paperclips, fresh notebooks and highlighters! I am honestly a stationary fiend, walked into Rymans on campus today and I just go so super over excited. Is it a sign of the quality of my life that this was the actual highlight of my day? I don't think so.

Apart from that extreme excitement, I also got back an essay from last term and handed a new one in. This meant waking up super early (9:40am) to go over any stupid spelling mistakes which I undoubtedly made (being 19 and still getting where and were, know and now confused is no longer acceptable. I will never learn) and having to remind myself every 5 minutes not to forget to hand it in online buuuut apart from that extreme drama, everything went smoothly. Last essay of the year yeah bitches.

Spent late afternoon 'revising' anthropology and ethnography- that's a euphemism for seeing the course material for the first time and thinking 'OH so that's what ethnography means!'. Not really a flying start but its my own fault!

Just looked out of my window and saw this beauty! Brightens up the prison like feel of my halls, doesn't it?

Had a few friends round last night for copious amounts of wine and chills. Was so nice catching up but paying for it today! Went to a fashion show at my sisters school yesterday- it was kinda nostalgic going back but hardly any of the teachers recognised me. I USED TO GO HERE TOO. But anyway, it was actually really good.

Picked up my best friend from hers afterwards with Rachael and Robbie in the car. We where playing Kate Bush really loud, windows down wailing to our hearts content. My sister had bought a floral blouse from the vintage stall and was halfway through getting changed into to- essentially topless- when we pulled up at traffic lights. The whole scene must have been so comical, my sister was so embarrassed the lights couldn't go green quick enough!

In addition to that, got a cheeky photo of my ex headteacher in a onesie. My life is pretty much complete.

ONE HUNDRED DAYS UNTIL THE OLYMPICS!


Going to see Basketball, I'm so excited!

I would really like to be here right nowwwww. 

only in the 90's.

Whilst manically trying to look for my savings book yesterday I happened up four beautiful photos of myself, my little sister and my cousin all having ultimate chill times in the bath. I have proper fond memories of us three always being together, playing outside ALL of the time and generally just being munchkins. Some family bonds really can never be broken. That being said, today I saw my cousin Charlie's girlfriend for the first time. A little bit strange seeing as I haven't seen him for at least 10 years, and he's only a few years older then me. C'est la vieeeeeee.

Top to bottom- Abbie, Rachael + Me.
Royal Chiefs of the Munchkin Realm. 

At work today we have taken all of the out of date sweets and skinny popcorn off from the shop floor. That means we have three full plastic bags of minstrels, m&m's and gummy bears. Yesss! But what I am ultimately super excited about is the 9 bags of Wasabi Skinny Popcorn. I appear to be the only person in Woking who loves it! We can't take them home though so in my next lunch break I'm sure I will be found surrounded by several empty packets of the food of Gods.

Also picked up a copy of Lonely Planet's guide to East Africa from a second hand shop for £2- so much better then £16.99 at Waterstones! So chuffed.

Am currently chugging down a whole cafetiere of coffee in order to get this essay rolling. Don't want any extra stress when I get back to uni! Also going to the pub tomorrow with Jeska, George, Cat and possibly Dasha for looong overdue drinks and mild insanity.

Nanaiiiiight x

Postcards from Japan.

Today I am committed to starting my essay. No excuses, its happening and its ready to be born. Or at least go into labor. 

I'm gunna need a lot of coffee. 

X 

19.

On the 5th April I turned 19. An exciting age to be, but for some reason I have already developed a knot in my stomach which is threatening to rise up and engulf me in anxiety and dissatisfaction. I have decided that once I have finished my degree I am going to train to be a teacher and then go travelling for a few years. For some reason the thought of a career, and a set path is making me feel really uncomfortable and actually, rather pissed off with myself. But at the same time, not knowing how I am going to earn money in order to move around has been causing me worry. I don't want to be worrying about shit like this now, I wanna just be muddling through life and living for today! This year has gone so quick and I know that before I know it I will be at the end of the best years of my life and wondering what the fuck I did. I think I may need to have a drink and a cigarette and calm down before this all turns into a severely premature midlife crisis.

I did have an amazing birthday though. I was in France with my ma + pa and we went to Pont Aven which was where Gauguin tried to set up his artists colony. It was quite a drive away from home and my paps moaned 97% of the way there but once we arrived he was quietly impressed. He doesn't really get the whole 'art thing' but I think he's just glad I'm at uni and not bugging him all of the time. The town is really beautiful with windy roads and French town houses and little art shops. There is also a river which literally flows through and under some of the ancient houses, it is absolutely beautiful. I felt so happy and bloody lucky to be there! My umma got me a delicious cake from the patisserie in Mur and I had a boiled turkey egg for breakfast (bit weird but I didn't ask any questions).

19th Birthday, Pont Aven, Brittany. Holding Sunny. 

Being in France always makes me turn into a bit of a crazy hippy. It must be the mixture of fresh manure filled country air, a distinct lack of cigarettes and the fact that there is nobody around for miles between the age of 10 and 50. The result of this is that I end up looking as though I have either got entirely dressed in the dark, or have decided to compile an outfit made from clothes from several different people, countries and climates. Thankfully there's only Super Cider Man around to see me sloping off on my bike.

Also, very pleased with myself because I went to the British Heart Foundation charity shop in Woking after work yesterday and got myself a copy of D.H. Lawrence's 'Women in Love' and Ella Fitzgerald's 'It Ain't Over...' which I'm listening to now. I also got an old oval leather handbag which was from John Lewis. My umma and sister are super jel so I'm keeping it well out of their reach! Trawling through second hand and charity shops is one of my favourite things to do, but it is actually becoming a deceptive money killer! Need to be careful with my pennies for summer!

Sweet Dreams
X

Just Kids.

This evening I finished reading Patti Smith's 'Just Kids'. I can say in all pure honestly that it is possibly one of the best books I have ever read, not only because of her humble rise to fame and deeply routed relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe but also in the way in which she writes. Her words are truly captivating, you feel like you have become part of her mind and almost as if you are her. And she is you. She is an artist in every true sense of the word, and I greatly admire her. 

Robert Mapplethorpe, Self Portrait, 1975.

Patti Smith, by Robert Mapplethorpe, 1976. 

I have also finished reading the biography of Grayson Perry by Wendy Jones. I have an admiration and also incredible interest in the medium of his work- pottery. He says that he can convey complex meanings and images through his pots because it is such a simple and harmless material. His mind is fascinating, as are his fetishes and psychobiography. I would definitively recommend both books!

Grayson Perry Essex Man, 1999.

I have spent most of my day cutting out shit and sticking it onto my diary, as well as hole punching and threading string through the back cover. Whilst I have been doing this my whole family have been panic packing for the various different places their going next week. I am all packed and sitting in my room like a satisfied child. However, my paps has just come home so I'm literally waiting for him to stomp upstairs shout at me for being so pleased with myself and "take the bloody dogs for a walk". Oh well, the joys of being back home.

On the plus side, paid for Uganda now just searching around for flights. Think me + Rosie are going to stay for a week or so at the end and maybe fly to Kenya for a bit off chill time and exploring.

au revoir x

I haven't written my blog for quite a while! There's just been so much going on with the end of term and the last two essays to be handed in.

First things first. Florence. What can I say? The woman is a Goddess. She was incredible, not only with her live performance but with her interaction with the crowd. I'm soso happy that my sister was there as well, we where both literally pogoeing up and down the whole time, just bouncing. Imagine two incredibly tall girls, one with long ginger hair and the other with long blonde hair bouncing for a solid two hours. It was so much fun though! Got some really good quality videos and we where really close to the front, thanks to the gigging skills of my flatmate Megan. For 'Raise it up' she ordered everyone to put 'the special lady with them' on to their shoulders. Me and Ray couldn't quite manage shoulders, but we piggy backed my thoughout the whole entire song whilst still bouncing! I felt about 10 ft. tall (which I probably was!) and it was such an adrenalin rush ahaha. Best moment ever.



waiting for flo! megs, ray and me.



amazing art nouveau backdrop and flo herself!

Also, I've been accepted to work in Uganda! Reallllyy really pleased, booking it this weekend. Going to France on sunday for 11 days with my ma and pa, having my 19th birthday there! Planning on going to the beach and running into the sea, no matter how cold it is! Weather is absolutely beaut at the moment though so hopefully it will be there too. Unfortunately due to my gingerness whilst my entire family can bronze themselves as much as they like I'm the freckled vampire hiding under and umbrella MJ style. No one likes to look like a lobster for the majority of summer.

anyways, gotta pack and doing some cheeky downloading of my sisters cd's!

enjoy the sun x





"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

Mark Twain

 

So Indonesia's off, but it looks like Uganda's on! The friends who I was meant to be travelling with have decided not to do Indonesia, which is completely fine because I thought I wanted to do a volunteer placement anyway. Sometimes things happen for a reason! When I was in India in the summer the project work we did was by far the best part- Bisham and Numraj where the babies (2+7) of the Nepalese women who worked there are all over my walls. Playing with them and talking to them was the most memorable and rewarding part of my trip. I think that if I'm going to travel, which I certainly am until the day I die, I want it to be leaving a good mark. And I don't just mean giving a little child a few rupees or meeting amazing people. I want to go all the way, I want to work it, live it, entirely engulf myself in it. And to go to Africa would be absolutely incredible. Especially Uganda with all of the KONY hype at the moment. Its just meant to be. The people who I have applied to volunteer with are called IVHQ (only sent it about 7 minutes ago so still awaiting a reply) are New Zealand based and so good! Their youtube channel is amazing and there are loads of videos on there from volunteers. They are so well priced, seem very reliable and have assured me about travelling on my own!

 

 

 

http://www.volunteerhq.org/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovBOeZZo1TA - a video of an IVHQ volunteer in Kenya.

 

Going to Africa would be completely insane. I've studied it in World Development for so long, with all its issues and the conflicting programs for its help, but to actually go there and be doing something small but actually impacting would be absolutely incredible. So much different then discussing the IMF and World Bank in a clean, sterile classroom.

 

 

 

Anyway, I've spent the whole weekend in the library doing my essay. It's 3000 words but for the first time in MY LIFE i have gone over by about 200. I accidently deleted the last 400 in the library earlier so had to write the end, soul destroying I tell you. Anyway, just gunna have a quick whizz over the editing and send it off tonight.

 

 

SEEING FLORENCE + THE MACHINE TOMMOROW AND MY LITTLE SISTER IS COMING UP TO SEE ME!  I'm so excited she said she was bringing marmite. What a gem.

 

Usiku mwema

(Good Night in Swahili)

x

 

"No one looks back on their lives and remembers the nights when they got plenty of sleep"

Roughly 3am after a cheeky night at Bar One. Left: Me, Ayla, Caitlin (above) and Kat.

It's nearly time to break up for Easter and then after that its just exams! It feels like my first year of uni had gone horrendously quickly, I don't want to not be a fresher anymore and have to actually take work seriously! But I can guaruntee that there will still be ridiculous nights out, no matter how many essays are due in or how many zero's we're overdrawn in the bank.

 I have an irrational fear of growing up and the last thing I see before I die is all the things I wish I'd done but instead I 'stayed on the safe side' and let them pass. I may be very poor with an unhealthy cigarette and alcohol intake but it's what I want to do at this point in my life. I want to do absolutely everything  and if that means seeing the sun rise most nights of the week then that is absolutely fine with me!

ध्यान रखना

(Take Care in Hindi). 

Tattoo Stalking.

Absolutely flawless.

This is possibly one of the best tattoo's I have ever seen. Can't believe the photographic quality of it.

I really would love to get a scarab beetle tattoo, they're just so cool and remind me of going to Egyptian exhibitions with my umma when I was little.

I have finally started researching for my essay on art and biography. Which is due in in four days time. Probably should have got me ass moving sooner. I'm focusing on Oscar Kokoshka and Frida Kahlo. It's super interesting I want to know absolutely everything, I just don't have enough time and it is not relevant enough for me to properly get into it.

 Found a really cool old book on Kokoshka at the Barber Library today, from 1947 and on the first page in old italic blue ink someone had written 'For Derek, Have a wonderful birthday, Love Mother. 1949'. So cool! And D. Flower was inked in at the top. That was given to him before my mum was even born! I got very excited about the whole thing.

On Tuesday my little sisters coming to Brum to see me and we're going to see Florence + the Machine at the LG Academy, I am sosososososo excited I think I will cry. Last time I saw her was Reading 2009 before she was massively famous, but so many people had so much love for her even then! Her new album is so special to me and my sister so I'm really happy to be seeing it with her.

Just to finish, this really made me laugh today. Ahahaha I'm starting again.

Byeee!

P.s. My flat has run out of loo roll. Myself, and all of my other sane flatmates, have been using tissues. My less sensible, but maybe more resourceful (??!) flatmate Magic decided to use a takeaway menu. We now have a little scrap of paper saying '20% off' floating at the bottom of the bowl. Very, very funny but also a little bit off putting.

My little sister Patch took this for her A Level Photography.

It looks amazing, very proud of her! Love the ghost quality of the communters and one train pulling in and one leaving and the dead centre of the composition which gives the idea that the station is a solid moment in time, always there no matter how many people rush around it everyday meeting friends or going to work or missing trains. She did guuuuurd.

Photo: Rachael Jervis, 8th March 2012. Woking Station.

The boy did good.

Damien Hirsts 'Anatomy of an Angel'

Sold for £1 million at his sale entitled 'Beautiful Inside my Head Forever'.

The sale took play in Sotheby's and was estimated to fetch around £65 million, which is an extortionate amount for an artist. Instead, he made around £111 million, smashing the world record for the most amount made by a single artist at an auction sale. The sale was made up of 223 lots.

Although I have mixed feelings about Hirst's ethics in terms of money and in some cases his borderline notions of art, I think this is absolutely stunning. It is beautiful and chilling at the same time and I love the way the texture of the surface changes from rough rock to smooth stone, even looking at a picture of it makes me want to reach out and touch it.

Beaut x

Happy February 29th!

I am unbelievably excited for this day. I don't know why I have never been before but this year I am just so amazed by the notion of a Leap Year! I understand that it's all about keeping the syncronisation of the seasons over time, but not every single calender uses the same method as ours (we have a common solar calender).

In the Hebrew calender, called the Lunisolar calender, a 13th lunar month is added seven times in every 19 years to the twelve lunar months in its common years to keep its calendar year from moving through the seasons too rapidly. This also means that every 224 years the Hebrew calender will fall a full day behind the Lunar calender. So interesting!


So anyway, I will inform you of the incredibly average day I have had, seeing as it won't happen again for another four years. Went to Subway City last night with some friends, it was a really good night! You pay a tenner and get entry + 10 drinks, its grimey as shit in there and them music is sick and the people are awesome. It's so much different then going out in Broad Street I love it. There where some very beautiful naked men serving drinks at the bar- not gay oiled up naked, proper hench omnomsss peachy bums. Definately bought more drinks on account of them ahaha.

Meant to have a 11-1 seminar today, me and Rosie promised to go to it but I was hoping she hadn forgotten. My friend stayed over and I kept checking the clock, by the time it was 10:50am I assumed today was off and a day of bed was in order. But no, the doorbell rang and in came Rosie's dulcet tones. I tried to protest about my diabolocal hangover but she was having none of it, so still wearing my clothes from the night before (I'm pretty sure I passed out in them, best sleep ever) I cleaned my teeth, grabbed my cigs and a coke and literally ran to uni. Got there in time for 11am and sat behind my incredibly scary Bond Villain-esque lecturer and had a little zizz. Our seminar room is called the photograph room and it had got all of the slides from the painting in the Barber from the olden times when they didn't have internet. Fascinating. But its really old in there with floor to ceiling book shelves and wooden tables and it's always so cosy and warm. Perfect.

My absolute bliss was ruined however, when this sculpture appeared blown up massively on the projector screen in front of my poor blood shot eyes.

Marc Quinn, 'Self' 1991

I found it very interesting, because he does a new one every five years to document his own ageing process. All very intriguing. Until scary James-Bond-Villain- Alan informed us all, in an alarmingly casual  tone "It is kept in a freezer in the gallery. This is because if it was left outside it would melt. This is because it is made from the artists own blood". At which point my gag reflex kicked in and a massive gulp of coke was needed.

I am still feeling very delicate after the whole thing.

tiempo para una siesta. adiós!

x

p.s. I think my spelling is awful in this but I don't have the strength to bloody correct it. Sorry!

You are divine, woven by a celestial thread that connects you to everyone and everything, even the spaces in between. You are cosmic in nature and beautiful beyond words.

Toby, Chris, George, Jeska, Dasha. Florence 2011.

Carnage!

My flatmates + me @ Freshers Carnage.

Going to Carnage tonight which is basically just a massive bar crawl but I reaaally cant be bothered. I think I've gone into hibernation and the thought of going out is just blurrrgh. It's weird though because last time I went we where all wee freshers and I hadn't yet made the friends I have now and I was hanging out with totally different people. Strange how much difference a few months make.

In other incredibly interesting news, I made a few purchases from Urban Outfitters today including some Aztec leggings (I will love that trend til the day I die) and some Wayfarers. Hurry the fuck up summer! As well as This is England '83 + '86. I'm currently obsessing over the new series of Being Human and Michael Socha is a reaffirmed God. I think I am in love with him.

Anyway, better drag my ass off and get ready.

Night! x

Trouble with Dreams.

Overslept today, totally missed my lecture but oh well, I had the most amazing dream! I tend to say this almost every morning, because I dream pretty much every night and I remember at least one dream from every night. Very vividly. I've heard stuff like dreams only last for 6 seconds and you can only remember them for a certain amount of time blah blah, but mine seem to go on forever and I can always remember at least parts of them.

Last night I dreamt the my sister, my mum and me where running away, and we had horses. We had started to unpack everything and go to bed when I thought I could hear people. We where at the top of a mountain like the ones I climbed in India and we could see the pathway below, but no people. Then, a massive swarm of bees came towards us, and I grabbed a massive bowl of honey and started to catch the bees, except I didn't get all of them. Something about animal cruelty. Anyway, there was this one huuuge Queen Bee hanging around which was really hard to catch, and I managed to squash it against the side of the honey bowl with my hand. Of course, it stung me and I felt like I was in so much pain, even in real life. I looked at my hand and I could see the end of the sting where it had been, and my skin was bulging up around it, it was gross! So I got some tweezers from my mum and wouldn't let her touch it- I think this is fairly reminiscent of when I was younger and always wanted to get stings out myself- and pulled the end out. A massive giant robotic bee came out, and it was so vivid and weird I literally thought it was real. It was deep in my hand but as soon as I took it out everything was back to normal.

I'm sure Freud would say that there was something deep and profound in the penetration of a robotic insect, and the Queen Bee being the mother and me not letting my own mother help. I really have no idea but I felt like I woke up with a bit of an adrenalin rush from it and feeling a little but queezy!

I've never had a dream about bees before. Maybe I should lay off the honey.

Ciaaaaao. x

A little bit of sunshine!

Yesterday was such a beautiful day! I woke up mildly hungover at around 2pm, opened my curtains and was dazzled by the big yellow blob in the sky which I feel has been missing for quite some time now. Not only that, but my friends where sitting chilling in Centre Court and it just made me feel so happy and hopeful for summer and love the people that I've met here. Sounds incredibly cheesy and sappy but its da truuuuth. Nothing better to lift the soul then a cig and iced coke in the sun and a good book.

Will (left) and his bitches going to Prom! 19/2/12

The team at work has been split into 'Commercial' and 'Operations', the first being dealing with the shop floor and trends and the second being tills, accounts, fitting room etc. I really wanted to be on the shop floor because I love dealing with customers and clothes but they've put me on operations because I'm till trained. I'll see how it goes but I may ask if I can be swapped. Sure thats all very interesting ahaha.

I've been out two nights in a row this week and I'm topping it off with a third one at Rainbow Warehouse tonight. I am sososososo excited but the triple hangover is starting to look more and more daunting. Wednesday I went to Snobs for my flatmates birthday- incidently she got a bit too overexcited at pre-drinks and ended up with her head in the toilet and an early night. I think she enjoyed the first few hours though... I love Snobs, such good music and you get really interesting people there! And drinks are cheaaap which is essential.

Thomas + Moi, Nightingales, 23/2/12.

Last night we went to Nightingales, I finished work at 9 and I was so knackered but I pinky promised my friend Will that I would go with him and I never break my promises! It was actually such a good night, such a good little bunch of us as well. We played 'the licking game' (I really can't think of a more imaginative name right now) where you have to lick each others faces verrry sneakily. Towards the end your friends became your enemies, absolutely trust no one! Thomas and I got very competetive, only to go so far as to lick strangers faces. I got 2/2 in that round. I believe there is also a rather attractive photo of the both of us dancing on the boxed stage usually reserved for the muscular tanned men in tight sports gear.

Anyway, feeling horrendously horrideous today so I'm offskies for a shower and some soup!

Seuraavaan kertaan x

four beautiful things I discovered today.

Indonesia.

Making plans to go to Indonesia this summer for 6 weeks. It looks absolutely beautiful and is all that is stopping me from eating my own head at the moment! Can't wait to meet people who have really travelled and are completely different from me and everyone I've met at uni.